


August Drought

by Luke_2020



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nines is dead from the begining, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Very triggering, Vignette, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luke_2020/pseuds/Luke_2020
Summary: Connor, a college freshman, can't stop thinking. When he thinks, it's over. The more and more he thinks, the worse he becomes. Until just like his brother Nines, he reaches rock bottom.
Relationships: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	August Drought

**Author's Note:**

> TW for extreme gender dysphoria, self harm, and suicide. This is not a happy fic.

Connor sighed as he started to fill his pill dispenser. He looked at the bottles overflowing from the box, and thought that he could start his own damn pharmacy. He stuffed away his antidepressants, anxiety meds, and mood stabilizers. Once he was done, something felt off. He glared at each pill bottle - oh. He’s missing his birth control. 

Connor shamefully walked past his bedroom, and the dull steak knife he naively thought he could finally slice his chest off, to the bathroom to retrieve his pills. He sits back down, adds them to the ever growing pile of pills, and then stuffs everything back into place. 

Connor then stood in the living room, seeing his father Hank sleeping on the couch. Or rather, he would call Hank dad if he actually supported him. He shook his head. His dysphoria was just strangling him today…

Connor made his way over to Nines’ photograph on the wall. It’s funny, how despite being older, Connor is the one who got his driving license first. Connor is the one who graduated high school first. And Connor is the first to see their eighteenth birthday.

Right now, Connor was mad at him. How could he just leave like that…? He understood that Nines was in a lot of pain, but Connor has no one to turn to now. Guilt suddenly clawed at Connor’s chest, forcing its way down to rest in his stomach. These thoughts are too selfish to be having.

Eventually, Connor admitted defeat and tried to go to bed. His brain kept pestering him, pestering about how he just found out he failed an online course over the summer. Pestering about how he’ll never pass in public. Pestering about all the fanart and fanfiction he’s behind on. Pestering about the other preliminary college shit he needs to get his ass on. Pestering him about how alone he is. Pestering him about how he just quit his job at Burger King.

Connor squeezed his eyes tight. He squeezed them so hard. He then begged silently for sleep to take him, to go back to the one place where he didn’t feel anything. Everything was just adding up. Suddenly, Connor remembered he forgot to take his nighttime medicine. He quietly made his way back to where his dispenser was, and downed them like his life depended on it.

Eventually, Connor fell asleep. And when he opened his eyes again, Nines was waiting for him with a sad smile.


End file.
